cash golden

I just realized: about two more weeks and I'm moving out of here for good. Crazy how time flies. It's been a lil' over two years since the first time I landed here and you know what? Now I kinda don't want to leave. Now that i've been hanging out with people that I actually click and am comfortable with - this place has been bearable.

Today was fun, the kind of day that gets the blood in your veins pumping.

The good thing about being sick is the weight loss part.

I hate the minute I started to feel better, the pounds started packing on. AND MORE.



I finally got some films developed. These are like 6 months overdue. The sad truth is that I have shitloads of cameras (toys, mostly) and yet I hardly use them. They just sit and collect dust in my cabinets. And as much as I hate to admit this, I haven't been using my DSLR anyway. I've been so uninspired lately. Whether it's in my photography or drawings - nothing. And I'm sometimes too afraid to start for fear that, what if my "skills" are gone? Ugh.
So I'm slowly restarting the habit. When I move to Buffalo, I'll be selecting extra-carefully which cameras am I going and not going to bring. I've actually started making a list. As of now, I know for sure I am bringing my DSLR, FishEye, Diana F+, Holga CFN and small compact film camera that I normally use for B&W photographs. And probably my Polaroid. And the smaller instant camera.
Yeah.
I miss my boyfriend all the time. I hope I do get to see him this August. I'm saving up as much as I can to fly off and see him. I told my Dad i've made up my mind and that's that, and I think he's starting to come around to the idea. Let's just hope so :)

lux

let's be honest: my boyfriend is nothing like the kinds of guys that I'm usually attracted to. i first got to know him as a douche. a fun douche, ...actually until now, i still think he's a total douchebag. he is this tall, loud, meaty, pants-hanging-down-my-butt, yadda yadda kinda guy ...and he's also opposite in the way that he is selfless, loving, sweet - who just showers me with constant joy; something i hardly experienced in my previous relationships.

i have lots of fun with him because we're both douchebags and he brings to me, two of the most important things i ask for in life: laughter and love.

so even though he's not my usual 'type' - that makes it even more the better. because i know the guys back then we're just lustful attractions where this one, i could honestly and positively say is love.